My mom Annabelle, who is now 82 years old, was an only child who lost both of her parents at a fairly young age. She showed me what it takes to be tough, smart, kind, and to never give up. However, the biggest thing she probably taught me is that your vibe attracts your tribe.
I’m from a fun, big lovin’ Italian family and was fortunate as a child to have a close knit team of incredible woman who led the way for me. I also understand what it’s like to not have this type of strong support. There was a time in my life where I was on my own a lot when my children were young and I had undiagnosed celiac. It was during these years I learned it was ultimately up to ME to turn my health and well being around; but I also realized how human beings nourish each other (even more than spaghetti ?).
How does one person accomplish any one thing? What does it take and what is the process, or the steps you need to get there?
There are three things that are—without a doubt—tops on my list:
1. A rock solid foundation
3. Silent supporters… a tribe
Every day you’re building your own foundation, whether you realize it or not. Step by step. Brick by brick. With each action and every quiet, small step you’re taking, you have the ability to create value to the world and produce work that matters. Whatever it is you desire.
You’re not just placing bricks to build a wall, you’re building your own cathedral, or your own mini-empire, or your family or career. This foundation you’re building can give you the rock solid strength you need to handle the distractions and the unexpected. And when you’re aware and mindful of this, it can become your superpower.
In fact, practicing mindfulness is one of the best things you can do for your well being. It doesn’t matter what you have or do, your life is no better than your relationship with your mind. When you can truly focus, then all your decisions, actions, and reactions can further enhance your life experience. A win-win! You are straight up paying attention and the benefits are huge.
When we commit ourselves to the cultivation of mindfulness and gratitude in daily life, we can experience life fully and become truly happy right now.
Mindfulness also makes way for an authentic way to live. This is key when attracting your silent supporters; those who get you, who love you, and will challenge you. Those who won’t judge you and whose opinions you value.
Roy Baumeister, social psychologist at the University of Florida, states that “authenticity consists in being aware that you have choices and consciously choosing what you do.” When you exercise mindfulness in your interactions with yourself and others, you engage the authentic community that lights your fire. Your vibe attracts your tribe.
Momma Annabelle had friends everywhere, and I watched this from a young age. They weren’t “parties at your house” friends. They were “Cheers” friends where everyone knows your name. She was her authentic self, 100%. Her kindness and reputation gave her at least twenty people she could call in a heartbeat, at any given time. It was fantastic to be around this, and was imprinted in my soul.
Part of our success is dependent solely on us as individuals, but part of that involves our fundamental need to be part of something bigger than ourselves.
Finding your tribe is important. Acceptance, understanding and support are what we crave in friendships. With that heart-felt love and soul connection, we can’t help but thrive.
I left home at 18 and moved four times before I got back within three hours of Momma Annabelle’s loveliness. When I look back, I sometimes don’t know how I did it. Then, I’m reminded by my tribe. I watch what they do and remember how we all got to this point. That the energy we put out into the world is contagious. You get back what you give. This was taught to me by many, executed daily. Practiced as a way of life.
I recently did an interview with KUCI’s Janeane Bernstein of Get The Funk Out where I explain this very thing. Listen to the radio interview.
If you haven’t found a tribe, can you attract one? What do you do?
Like a magnet, you pull together your very own personal one. By being brave. By being good to people. By being your authentic self. At the post office, the grocery store, the dry cleaners. It’s this energy that’s undeniable. It’s my religion.
Show others parts of yourself you may have previously hidden for fear of judgment. When you’re brave enough to show people your imperfections, they tend to do the same.
And as Brené Brown tells us in her fabulous TED Talk The Power of Vulnerability, this breeds intimacy and fosters a sense of belonging, which will fan the flames of your soul’s fire.
2 weeks ago I took a trip out West and met many different people. Over and over again, I received the same message: ethics, mindfulness, depth of friends and family, interests, goals and how you treat people, are vital to living your best life.
On the plane ride home, I read a book along this same theme, which inspired me to write this post. The book is Asian Girl in a Southern World by Dalena Benavente. It’s a story of the author’s life and how she never gave up with her stick-to-it-ness and courage. (It’s also a recipe book with some poems mixed in, so of course I loved it even more. A kindred spirit.)
Bottom line: keep your shoulders back and chin up. You have the ability to change or create anything in your life, starting now.
Remember every morning is a new day to set your sights and energies on reaching your goals.
Keep your work ethic strong
You know you got this all along
Carry the morning vibe throughout the day
Build your foundation like a boss
Lift life’s load like a haus
Know your crew has your six
Live like you mean it
Get your stick-to-it fix
I keep Momma Annabelle and my grandmother’s strength with me. I encountered all kinds of situations along with my silent celiac. No matter what, their belief in me helped me to hit many goals that at times seemed unreachable.
It’s ultimately up to you to take the necessary actions to help move you forward, but it’s also a big, and sometimes insane, world. As Danielle LaPorte says, “Find your tribe. Love them hard.”
And say thank you.